I was reflecting yesterday with my Mum, she was saying how proud she was (whilst I was telling her to shush) of me that I had taken the leap and start going places on my own.
I am pretty proud of myself too (don't want to boast about it though haha)! This time last year, there was no way that I would have gone to the shops on my own, let alone London. Friends that will be reading this will be thinking, ye but you went to university on your own, I did, when I first started I was really nervous about going on my own but as the weeks/months went by and I got to know everyone and they got to know about me (and my illness) I was fine.
This is why I think I didn't want to go out on my own, I always had my fab Mum or Dad with me, I didn't even mind going out with my friends, as they knew about my condition. However going out to the shop on my own I wouldn't like at all, what if I fell ill, collapsed or fainted? I think this was my worst fear, it wasn't because I didn't WANT to go out on my own it was because I was worried about the WHAT IF's of going out on my own.
Now that I am feeling well this fear has gone, I can do what I want, when I want! It's a great feeling... I am not planning on jetting off around the world or moving out of home yet (Sorry Mum and Dad) but I think I am making progress and getting more confident!
I may actually be starting to grow up too... I have enquired about two jobs in the past few days and one is looking promising for an interview... and I am waiting for an application form for the other! It's a scary but exciting prospect...
None of the above of course would have been possible without my wonderful donor and their special family... I remember them every day in everything that I am now doing that was not possible before.
Keeping on keeping on
2 weeks ago