Thursday, 3 September 2009

Reflective...

I was reflecting yesterday with my Mum, she was saying how proud she was (whilst I was telling her to shush) of me that I had taken the leap and start going places on my own.

I am pretty proud of myself too (don't want to boast about it though haha)! This time last year, there was no way that I would have gone to the shops on my own, let alone London. Friends that will be reading this will be thinking, ye but you went to university on your own, I did, when I first started I was really nervous about going on my own but as the weeks/months went by and I got to know everyone and they got to know about me (and my illness) I was fine.

This is why I think I didn't want to go out on my own, I always had my fab Mum or Dad with me, I didn't even mind going out with my friends, as they knew about my condition. However going out to the shop on my own I wouldn't like at all, what if I fell ill, collapsed or fainted? I think this was my worst fear, it wasn't because I didn't WANT to go out on my own it was because I was worried about the WHAT IF's of going out on my own.

Now that I am feeling well this fear has gone, I can do what I want, when I want! It's a great feeling... I am not planning on jetting off around the world or moving out of home yet (Sorry Mum and Dad) but I think I am making progress and getting more confident!

I may actually be starting to grow up too... I have enquired about two jobs in the past few days and one is looking promising for an interview... and I am waiting for an application form for the other! It's a scary but exciting prospect...

None of the above of course would have been possible without my wonderful donor and their special family... I remember them every day in everything that I am now doing that was not possible before.

2 comments:

Tinypoppet said...

You have every right to be hugely proud of yourself :) You've come such a long way honey, and I know what those fears embedded in you by being ill are like!

Keep on going, you're living life to the full and what greater way to show appreciation for this incredible gift :)

lots of love xxx

loulou said...

Hol, your such a shining star and I know what you mean about goinbg out alone. I did it last week in my town and I felt so empowered and 'normal' again...until the knitting needles incident(lol!) I will fill you in on that if I haven't already. I know there'll be employers fighting for you...you're proof that organ donation can lend itself to a happy and full life! Keep on rocking Hols! Love ya xxxx